Kong: Uhh.. Mothra just asked if we want to…
Kong: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?”
Godzilla, not even looking up from their phone: They’re asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Kong: Oh, that makes more sense.
Godzilla: A decision had to be made.
Rodan: And you fucked it up!
Mothra: You know, people treat me like a god.
Jet Jaguar: How?
Mothra: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Godzilla: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Mothra: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Kong: FLOOR IT!!
Godzilla: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Mothra: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Godzilla: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Ghidorah: DO IT!
Mothra: NO-
Mothra: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Jet Jaguar, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
Mothra: When I die I want Godzilla to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.
Jet Jaguar: Damn, the power went out.
Ghidorah: Don’t worry, I got this.
Ghidorah: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Jet Jaguar: What-?
Ghidorah: I swallowed a glow stick!
Jet Jaguar, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-
Rodan: That's a nice arguement, Mothra Why don't you back it up with a source?
Mothra: My source is that I made it the fuck up!
Kong: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Ghidorah: And?
Kong: And you are.
Mothra: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Rodan: You left me, Godzilla, and Ghidorah in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.
Mothra: I did that on purpose, try again.
Kong: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.
Mothra: You saved me! Why?
Godzilla: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.
Godzilla: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?
Mothra: Ghidorah is the scariest thing I could think of!
Ghidorah: Mothra told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
Jet Jaguar: Let’s write Rodan a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
Godzilla: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.
Ghidorah: But that’s censorship.
Kong: Well done. You are correct. You’re being censored. Now go.
Rodan: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.
Kong: You’re just being paranoid. Again.
Rodan: When have I been paranoid?
Kong: Um, when you first met Ghidorah you thought they were an undercover cop…?
Rodan: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Kong: And last year you were sure Mothra was a mermaid!
Rodan: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Rodan’s theory is proven wrong*
Kong: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Rodan: I still think Mothra is a mermaid.
Jet Jaguar: Mothra, don’t go picking a fight with Ghidorah. Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.
Mothra: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.
Jet Jaguar: Rodan's refusing to wear their glasses!
Rodan: Jet Jaguar, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.
Rodan: *points to Ghidorah* Ghidorah.
Rodan: *points to Godzilla* Godzilla.
Rodan: *points to Mothra* Sasquatch.
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Kong: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Kong: Which one? I have seven.
Jet Jaguar, distantly: HEY!!!
